Excuses, excuses

First of all, every time I come here to write something I end up looking at the sunset pictures and decide I like them at the top of the page so I put off writing :P
More importantly I keep waiting for some good news.  I feel like I'm stuck in limbo in many areas of life right now and I don't want to whine about it (at least not for posterity's sake, lol) so I keep putting it off.  Alas, I don't see a light ahead yet (unless perhaps it's a locomotive coming to cream me?) but I think I'd better go ahead and write anyway.  I mean, life is life, right?

[Feel free to not read the whole thing.  I got very wordy.]

Work stinks.  The economy has left few untouched and even being with a fantastic company with a wonderful job full of great opportunities and products we're still really having a rough time.  Rarely do things go as projected.  We knew this going in.  We didn't ever imagine that things could stink so thoroughly, though.  Our "worst case scenario" was nothing close to this.  Not that we could have or would have done anything differently -- it has just been rough.  It has been so unexpected that it's been harder to deal with in a lot of ways.  That said, we have also been exceedingly blessed to make it through (more or less).  I just wish there was an end in sight.  I am very grateful for the preparation we did have (food storage especially) which has eased the burden somewhat.  Alas, cereal bought on sale still only goes so far :P

I have been hoping to have good news at least in my health.  But it's not good there either.  I'm on week three of a nasty wasty ear infection in my left ear.  It hit hard and I started by using steroid drops my doctor prescribed not too long ago for a different ear infection.  I was hoping to dodge the bullet.  But within a few days the pain was unbearable.  I went in and sure enough my ear canal was swollen completely shut.  He said the drops were the right thing to take and added on amoxicillin because of my history of difficult to cure infections and because he couldnt' be sure it wasn't an inner or middle ear infection leading to the issue (which would be classic for me).  After a week of that the pain got unimaginably worse.  The lortab he had given me didn't even touch the pain.  I "slept" for several nights in the recliner in the living room because I couldn't bear to lie flat.  I called back (we cannot afford to just go in what with the deductible reset and all) and he changed me to another antibiotic.  I am glad to say that finally, most othe pain is a lot better.  Not all gone, but I can manage.  I can tell the swelling is at least mostly gone in my ear canal also.  The thing that worries me still is that I am still all but deaf in my left ear.  If I lie down on my right side I cannot understand people talking or anything like that.  I'm hoping it's just the inflammation working its way through, but...
(Update: the doctor's office just called back and I'm going to go in to see him again in a couple of hours.  We'll see I guess.)

Ear infections aside, eosinophilic disorders stinks too.  I was diagnosed back in October with eosinophilic esophagitis.  It's a fairly rare condition and I am fortunate to have a gastroenterologist who is familiar with it.  A year earlier he did an upper digestive scope on me and took a biopsy saying it looked just like EoE.  I did a little research after that and it made a lot of sense.  Then they called a few days later to tell me the biopsy was negative.  So much for that!  But this time the biopsies were positive.  He said I probably had it the whole time but I didnt' have a current flare up or something like that.  So I did a 4 week course of treatments.  By the end my symptoms were worse.  Not really what I was hoping for.  So I waited to get in again (we were in the middle of the holidays by this point).  I saw my doctor (gastro) again a couple of weeks ago and described my new issues.  Sure enough, it all added up.  Finally!!!  So it looks like I have eosinophilic disorder throughout my digestive system at least.  Personally I feel better about something the more information I have about it, so I've been doing a lot of research.  Today I discovered eosinophilic conditions related to kidney / flank pain, bladder cystitis, and even middle ear issues that are all a little "off" of what they should be if they were simple issues, but that are in truth eosinophil related.  For example:  "Eosinophilic Cystitis (EC) is a rare inflammatory bladder disorder of unknown cause characterised by “transmural” inflammation (= inflammation through all layers of the bladder wall) and numerous eosinophils. Urine cultures are usually negative. EC can mimic many other urological conditions."  Perfectly described what my urologist has diagnosed as Interstitial Cystitis -- another difficult to diagnose chronic issue.  And yes, EC is often diagnosed as IC.  Also:  "Eosinophilic otitis media (EOM) is intractable otitis media characterized by the presence of a highly viscous yellow effusion containing eosinophils. It occurs mainly in patients with bronchial asthma and is resistant to conventional treatments for otitis media."  I'm going to ask my doc about this today.  I've had all sorts of yellow gunk coming from my ear.  I also have been treated for bronchial asthma.  And the last doc-talk I'll bore you with:  "Flank pain is caused by a variety of pathologies of which urinary stone disease is the most frequent. Eosinophilic ureteritis is a rare stenosing condition of the ureter. Eosinophilic ureteritis can cause flank pain and/or unilateral hydronephrosis."   This makes all sorts of sense considering the issues I had with stones over the last year.  Yes, I've had unilateral hydronephrosis also. 
It is thoroughly possible that none of these things are true.  Perhaps I really do just have a dozen unusual, unrelated issues chronically going on in my body.  It has just never felt "right" to me.  I've been searching for a couple of years for what the source of these bizarre and chronic or persistent conditions.  This actually makes sense to me.  At least it gives me something more to discuss with each of my doctors the next time I have some sort of flare.
The bad news?  Eosinophilic conditions are not cureable.  Adult EoE was only recognized for the first time in 1984, I believe it was.  Only in about the last 10 years has much research been done on the subject.  So it's not very well understood and can't be very effectively  treated even.  It is thought to be most often caused by allergies.  Finding the triggers, however, can be very difficult.  Coincidentally, 5 years ago I had no know allergies besides a few seasonal discomforts.  During my pregnancy with Sabrina I became allergic to several foods and a couple of medications.  These funky medical issues have all shown up since she was born.  I don't think I'm allergic to her ;)  but it may be difficult to figure out what things are causing the reaction.  In the mean time some foods have been making me sick.  I get nauseous after eating pretty much every time.  I have already become very cautious in what I eat.  And if I start allergy testing it is likely to cost several hundred more dollars at least.  Right.  Cause I have that hiding around in my piggy bank.  Just didn't feel like using it. 
Best case scenario?  If the meds I'm on now can get the inflammation under control then my body's immune system could pick up from there and I could continue with nothing different and no more flares.  That happens some of the time.  I'm not holding my breath.  Especially since I've already failed one course of treatment and a few weeks into this one I'm not feeling any better still.  I'm on the hook for 6 weeks of this nasty stuff (swallow a liquid twice a day for 6 weeks.  Tastes like benadryl, but more bitter believe it or not) then I'll see the gastro again.  If it doesn't take, they'll probably want to do 6 more weeks of the same treatment.  I suppose I'm fortunate because this particular treatment is only available at ONE pharmacy nationwide, which happens to be Rock Canyon Pharmacy in Provo.  It's supposed to coat better, therefore being more effective than the "usual" treatments.  Unfortunately it all does contain steroids which in any amount increase my anxiety.  Because I really needed that on top of life right now, right? lol

Okay, I'm sorry.  This is why I've been putting off writing!  I didn't really want to subject you all to this huge rant.  Oh well.  At least I"ve got it off my chest for the moment :)  I really am hopeful that now we're on a course that could get me long-term healthy again.  Even if I have to give up some of my favorite foods (PLEASE not chocolate!!!!!!!).  It could be lots worse.  EoE is more common in children and I have a few friends now (online) who have children with the disorder.  One is already on a feeding tube that goes directly to his stomach.  He gets a special formula pumped in every night and can have nothing but water or ice in his mouth.  The other little boy is not quite to that point, but headed there quickly.  It really humbles me to see these little ones who cant have cake and ice cream, get sick sucking on a jelly bean, or throw up at the smallest bite of anything.  If they can do it, then I sure can.  With help from the Lord, at least.

P.S.
A few details:  The picture at the top is of the "digit-al" frame I made for Michael for Christmas because I couldn't afford the electronic type, lol.  Meaning you use your digits (fingers) to rearrange each of the 6 pictures.  The blocks are little 1" blocks so the whole thing is only 3"x3".  It is cute, though.
Also: Happy Birthday to my little brother today :)
And: Michael got a calling at church.  He's now in the nursery with me!!!  We're having lots of fun :)