Recovery

I'm finally starting to feel better.  I only took 2 percocet today (good thing -- I only have 3 left!).  I'm exhausted and think I could sleep all day but the pain is easing. 

The other evening the girls got to hang out with the neighbors while they had a little campfire in their yard.  I had just enough energy to wander all the way to their backyard and "visited" for a little bit.  It was my big adventure out of the house :) 

This afternoon Kate's Flat Stanley made it back to her school.  Sometime soon I'll post the other stories about Flat Stanley in China.  They're great fun.  Carol and Anne (our friend from Beijing) brought Flat Stanley to the class.  Carol read the stories to the class and showed the pictures of Flat Stanley in lots of great places.  Then Anne answered some questions about living in China.  She spoke some Chinese for them to hear and wrote some characters on the board.  They got to see on the map where the Great Wall is.  After school Kate told me that after that everyone wanted to sit by her.  lol

Life is good.  Better at least.  My voice / throat still gets worn out and tired easily.  I still get worn out and tired easily.  But I can eat most foods now which is a relief.  My tummy still doesn't feel very good so I don't eat much food, but I could which is nice.  For the time being I've lost 10 lbs.  I wouldn't mind if it stayed lost.

A word to the less than wise. Anyone wise wouldn't have these words to share.

I have discovered that the more upfront and honest I am about what's up in life, the easier it tends to be to deal with it.  I'm sorry if that means that there's a lot of junk I write about that you just really don't want to hear.  Feel free to skip reading it.  It just helps me work through it all.
Thanks to genetics, hormones, physical issues, etc, I am one of the more than 21 million Americans that deals with severe chemical depression and anxiety.  I have been medicated in some form since it because a serious issue about 6 years ago.  Currently I'm working with a doctor to try to improve my general health so over the next year or so I may be able to reduce my medications and handle things as much as possible in other ways.
Here's a little Depression 101:  Any surgical procedure of any sort (even as little as a knee scope) can set off a round of depression.  Chronic pain and/or illness can set off a round of depression.  High levels of stress (emotional, physical, financial...) can set off a round of depression.  Also an obvious key to keeping depression at bay: stay on all medications and only go off them gradually and under close supervision.
Now let's consider my last week... I had surgery which has resulted in severe pain for the last 10 days so far (okay, so technically that's more like a week and a half).  Stress and chronic illness are also hallmarks of life for me.  Oh, pain pills can add to depression also, and I discovered a time or two the absolute idiocy of trying to skip those early on.  Immediately after having the tonsillectomy I experienced severe throat pain (not really a surprise ;)).  Swallowing *anything* was severely painful.  I was diligent in drinking ice water.  It hurt to swallow but felt good going past.  I managed to take my pain pills because I knew that while they hurt like ^*&$# to get down they were key to living through the next 4 hours.  Swallowing an extra 4-8 pills per day, though.... 
Yes, I quit taking my pills.  I knew I wouldn't be alone during that time and I didn't have the energy to do anything naughty anyway, so I went ahead and didn't take them.  After about 4 days I started taking my reflux medication again because the pain in my stomach outweighed the pain of swallowing the pill.  And I still skipped the other 3 pills.  I promised myself that no matter what I would start taking them all again this last Friday -- 1 week after the surgery.  It seems like starting back on the meds after being off for a week was as bad as being off them was!  I was finally recovering a little energy and it all turned very grumpy.  Then the "nightmares" started.
Nightmare is the wrong word.  That insinuates that it happens while sleeping and that something actually *happens*.  This was creepier.  Saturday night I was lying in bed waiting for the pain pill to take the edge off enough that I could sleep.  >sidetrack<  Have you ever had that experience of seeing or feeling or hearing something that you're so sure is right there until you open you eyes and realize you must have been more asleep than you thought?  That's kind of what was happening.  I would shut my eyes and could see us both lying in bed and then things started to appear around us.  Bottles of pills, sharp knives, rope, plastic bags... things that in and of themselves could be quite innocuous, but considering everything they were downright frightening.  I pulled my eyes opened and could see that I was just in bed. Nothing weird.  But the second I shut them again it kept happening.  I didn't feel a great desire to *use* any of these things, but they were there.  It was nearly petrifying. 
I decided I needed to focus my mind on something positive, cause neutral territory was apparently no good.  I was drowsily thinking through various pictures of me with my husband and with out little family.  Beautiful, you'd think.  Except pretty soon that changed too.  I would "see" a picture, then a mask of gore would cover me in the image.  As I startled I'd "flip" to another picture and the same thing happened.  Seeing your own face covered in blood while smiling up from the midst of loved ones is quite uncomfortable. 
By this point it was exceedingly late (or early, depending on your perspective).  I woke Michael up and tried to tell him what happened, though it wasn't until the next morning I actually made sense.  After he tried comforting me I sat straight up at the end of the bed and refused to shut my eyes again. 
After giving me one of my anxiety pills (the kind I take rarely) Michael finally convinced me to get back in bed.  As usual, once the pill knocked me out I slept so soundly I didn't remember any dreams.  The next day I barely passed out of Michael's view.  Feeling that subconcious onslaught was so utterly overwhelming. If I had it all to do again (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I would open up my cymbalta capsules and sprinkle it in my pudding before I'd skip it entirely again.
So my words to the less-than-wise are these: First: don't skip the medication.  Second: if you have some compelling reason to skip it, keep company around.  Third: just because you're back on your meds doesn't mean you're out of the woods yet!  I had been back on for two days before this crazy muck happened.

I think I"m finally on the upswing of the recovery.  It is a very SLOW upswing, but things are improving.  I think at least most of the scabbing is gone now.  I feel less like I'm choking and my saliva isn't so gummy.  Gross I know, but it's all gross.  It is still very uncomfortable to do much talking.  Eating is still tricky and painful also.  I'm hoping as the swelling continues to go down that food will quit getting stuck in the surgical site too.  It would be so refreshingly unexpected to swallow and have food just go from mouth to esophagus without getting sidetracked! The referred ear pain is pretty well calmed down now too.  I think I was at an advantage versus the ear pain.  I've had so much severe ear pain and I knew it would come sooner or later, so it didn't catch me like some unexpected undertow.  I was better able to stand it because I know every bit of how it feels and how bad it can get.  It was bad enough, but not so bad as my infection in January.  I'm still absolutely wiped out, but I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm not walking on railroad tracks this time ;)

Chill, Dorothy, it was just a dream.

The Jarbh family was involved in a New Year's Celebration at BYU.  We were parading through and plaing music but were also honored guests.  We kept being introduced when we entered new rooms.  I was actually in charge of taking pictures (shocking, no?) but my camera was running out of batteries and film.  Film?!  Yup.  I had to flip the switch over to digital cause I ran out of film.  Carol was looking for more batteries for me.  BYU happened to be located in Arkansas, just down the road from where Kimball and Lorilee live.  And Peter had been hired to be in charge of heating in the HFAC where all the festivities would be held.  He was still with the rest of us, but he was responsible for everything else at the same time.  A number of the kids were playing with us but they were quite young.  Andrew, for example, was playing the trombone.  They were roughly the same size.  Grandpa Brunson and a number of Brunson relations were there as well.  As we entered the main gallery of the HFAC Uncle Gordon was the one introducing us.  Grandpa handed each family half a banana and Uncle Gordon gave each family a one dollar bill and said who was coming.  There were bananas alllll over the floor where people kept dropping them.  Uncle Gordon kept giving last names as "Brunson" instead of "Jensen" or otherwise.  When Michael and I came through he introduced us as "Brother Michael Brunson and Miss April Iphapes"

At that point I woke myself up by trying to yell "It's SOUTHERN!  And Janelle Southern!" and then being shocked that my Uncle (once you de-spoonerized the word) was calling me Ape-Hips!  Oh well, it was time to get up anyway.

This ^ is the approximate size of the Jarbh kids who were at the par-tay.

Days 3 and 4. Unfortunately still alive. Ugh.

Fever, nausea, throwing up blood, utter exhaustion... I don't feel so good.

Between the highs and lows of this recovery I still feel hope that I won't regret this in the long term, LOL.  I'm hungry finally, but anything I try to eat gets caught in the surgery site.  I think I've drunk no less than 4 gallons of water each day since the surgery.  Ice water feels reasonably good so I've been living on ice water.  I've eaten two scrambled eggs, two smoothies, a bit of yogurt, and coconut kefir.  And some ice cream.  That's all in 4 days now.  Yes, I've lost 8 pounds.  I'm sure there are easier ways to lose weight.  I'm still mainly avoiding dairy, but since it didn't show up as an allergen and since I'm desperate I've been eating some anyway.  I am entirely avoiding wheat though.  Not that wheat sounds good right now anyway...

Lizzie whacked herself near her right eye the other day with something.  I think it must have been on Friday because I thought I dreamed it.  Now she has a bit of a shiner.  Awesome :P

After she got home from school today Lizzie was doing her reading.  She had Sabrina sit on her lap to read aloud to her.  It was just too cute :)  Then Lizzie filled out the paper for me that says she read the book -- including my "signature".  I'm guessing her teacher will know I didn't sign it ;)  At least the teacher knows I'm out of it this week.

Right now I really want a bowl of beef stew.  Yummmmmm.... 

Days 1 and 2. Still alive.

Honestly I'm doing better in a lot of ways than I thought I'd be.  Surgery went well yesterday.  Not surprisingly they had to max me out on pain meds and anti-nausea meds in the recovery room.  I'm sure I've been talking more than I ought to, but I like to talk :P  As long as I keep up on my pain meds and drink LOTS of ICE water I'm doing pretty well.  A nice novelty is that it's not uncomfortable to move around (like it is after having gallbladder surgery, a c-section, a cyst cut open, etc.).  I'm just quite tired.  I've had alarms set on my phone so I drink water at least every hour day and night.  It really does make a difference.  It just makes restful sleep more difficult :)  Especially since it also means I have to get up frequently to go to the bathroom too, lol.  Yesterday I did eat a Jamba Juice and that was good "food" (non dairy, non soy, no seeds, no citrus.  Yes, they do have one like that!).  I also had some pudding (made with rice milk so it was really runny, but it was still satisfying).  So far today I've had ice and water and water and ice.  And liquid amoxicillin and percocet.  Oh well.  From what I understand hydrating is more important than food these first couple of days at least.  It's not like I don't have a little extra "food storage" on my hips ;) 

Sorry, this picture is pretty dark.  I just took it with the webcam on my mini while I lie here on the couch.  My jawline is all loverly and puffy of course.  Feels awesome (in all the most sarcastic senses).  Right now my mom has the girls and Michael went to run a couple of errands so I'm taking it nice and easy.

A couple of golden moments: (These have been Facebooked for those of you who may have already seen them there.)  I was particularly loopy during my recovery this time.  Unfortunately it was before I had been taken back to Michael so I don't have any corroboration on this and I know there's a lot that went on that I don't remember.  Things just kept coming out of my mouth and then I'd hear myself and wonder what was wrong with me, LOL.  I was quite nauseous so the nurse dude gave me a bag thing in case I needed to throw up.  Instead of the classes emesis basins (which have always concerned me with the thoughts of splashage) it was more of a bag with a hard plastic ring at the top that kept it open.  When he gave it to me I promptly put it on my head and told him it made a great hat.  I think I fell right back to sleep then because when I woke up again feeling another wave of nausea I saw where it had fallen on the floor out of reach.  (Fortunately the meds kicked in and I didn't actually go through the agony of post tonsillectomy throwing up.)
Later in the day as I kept drifting in and out of consciousness I had a dream that was really quite fascinating.  It was a short dream (probably because I was only sleeping in very short increments) and was therefore fittingly a commercial.  The commercial was for a printer with an extra cartridge which printed in invisible ink.  And as a special feature it even worked underwater!  Sorry, I didn't catch the number to call to order it ;)

Now it's nap time again.  Good night :)

Big Breath...and let it out...

On Wednesday I had a very productive appointment with my ENT doctor.  I had the intradermal testing done on some negatives from my allergy testing.  To my previous list of allergies I can now add two types of grass and two more trees: Elm and Olive. 

This was a follow-up appointment for that nasty ear infection I've had all year (meaning the year 2010, not the last 12 months).  My ear finally looks better!  Hallelujah!!!! 

I also went with two questions.  The first was to do with a problem I've had with voice strain for the last several months.  I cannot sing anymore without serious pain and hoarseness afterward :(  The doc did a scope right there (Fiber-optic laringoscopy -- not particularly comfy, but at least it was quick) which showed that I have severe Muscle Tension Dysphonia.  The muscles that run the vocal chords are over-working so my voice is being used wrong.  SO, I have to start seeing a voice therapist to learn how to use my voice right again.  At least it sounds like it will only be about 4 visits, so that's do-able I guess.

My second question was to do with my tonsils.  I've had slightly to moderately inflamed tonsils for years.  In the last few years my tonsils have begun producing tonsiloliths (tonsil stones) which are straight up NASTY.  It's basically (sorry, there's no un-gross way to put this) particles of food caught in the tonsils which get bacteria built up around it to form a wad of white nasty stinky gunk.  They can be quite painful and it's basically a breeding ground for nasties which then randomly drop down the throat (or can sometimes be "popped" out of the tonsils or coughed out) adding a whole new layer of gross to the bacterial climate of the body.  Considering how well my body does NOT do with infections, a couple of doctors have recommended a tonsillectomy. 
My ENT concurred (I swear I saw their eyeballs spin with dollar signs in them, lol) and they proceded to schedule my surgery.  The doctor I see (Seth Riddle -- same ENT who removed Kate's tonsils several years ago) does surgeries once a month.  So I could either wait several weeks or have the surgery on Friday.  (Yes, this appointment was yesterday and the surgery is tomorrow!).  I'm actually happy with this because it gives me less time to stress out about it.

So tomorrow morning I'm going under the knife again.  The more I talk to people and research about adult tonsil/adenoid-ectomies the more I'm dreading the next couple of weeks.  Kate's recovery was so quick and she bounced back so much faster than we expected... and mine will probably be SO much worse.  Ugh.

Enough gross stuff.  Here's something GOOD!  (Woo Hoo!!!)

I started seeing another doctor a while ago.  He came highly recommended and is in addition to all my other doctors (cause I just don't have enough doctors, right?).  I admit I call this guy the "voodoo doctor"  or "Doctor Facilier" (seen 'The Princess and the Frog'?).  He's actually an alternative health provider who mainly uses homeopathic supplements and treatments for issues.  He did an assessment of my body (Chinese Meridian Assessment) which actually came up with nothing particularly shocking.  My kidneys and liver are weak, my lymph-nodes aren't draining properly, I have chronic infection / inflammation in the upper respiratory area (see also: tonsils!), etc.  He started me on a pill and two different drops.  I figured nothing much would happen, but all of a sudden this week (it has been a couple of weeks now) the swelling along my jaw line has gone down!  I also finally lost two pounds.  Not much, I know, but finally SOMETHING.  Basically my body isn't getting rid of the garbage.  So even when I go on antibiotics to kill off something all the dead bugs are left floating around because my lymph-nodes, liver, and kidneys are too lazy to clear it all out.  Thus the infections are persistent and recurrent.  I'm feeling hopeful that this doc will get some of my body working well enough that it can self-correct on some of these things that are running my health SO out of whack.

It may be a while before I"m back.  We'll see how my recovery goes.  Fingers crossed and especially arms crossed (praying).

...so they all rolled over and one fell off

Do you remember that old rhyme?  "There were 10 in the bed and the little one said 'roll over, roll over' so they all rolled over and one fell off, there were 9 in the bed and the little one said..."
Well, that's the way our bed has often worked.  Actually the girls are getting much better about staying in their own beds at night.  Kate practically never comes into our room at night anymore.  Sabrina almost always stays in her own bed.  Lizzie... well she still has nightmares.  She used to have night terrors which were awful.  After years of working on those they're mostly gone, but she still wakes up a few times a week with a bad dream.  So she comes into our bed.  Technically she's not allowed to sleep in our bed anymore.  If we wake up and notice her there then she gets booted back to her bed.  She'll go back to her bed, count to 5, then creep back into our room and climb in with her head by my feet.  Silly girl.
Last night the girls got to go to a sleep-over at their Aunt Jan and Aunt Jenn's house (Michael's twin sisters).  It was for all the nieces in the family (10, I believe)!  While they were gone Michael and I got to go on a date and sleep all the way through the night with no girls climbing in to shove us off the bed.  Most unusual ;)  Each of the girls came home with their very own journal.  They are so excited to write in their journal.  Jan and Jenn both write in journals regularly and (in Jenn's case at least) copiously.  The first page in each notebook has information on the girls.  Among other things (what i do during the day, my favorite color, my family, etc.) they were all weighed and measured.  I had an idea of how my girls compare, but it was funny to look it up on a growth chart calculator.

Kate: weight 29%, height 14%

Lizzie: weight 59%, height 24%

 Sabrina: weight 47%, height 25%

I know, we have little midgets :P
I'll add some pictures here after one of the girls gets around to posting some and I get around to stealing them ;)  [UPDATE:  Jenn posted pictures and I stole them, so now it's all pictured up :P ]

Aaaachoooooo!!! Itchy... itchy... itchy... scratchy... sniffle...

Today I went through a batch of allergy testing.  So far it's only been the epidermal stuff, nothing injected all the way into the blood.  Next week they'll do some injected stuff to check the negative results.  So far I've had a few definite positives and a couple of border-line positives.

We will certainly not have a cat in our house.  Sad, cause I love cats!  We were planning to get one someday.  But the cat spot popped right up and created a huge welt.  The nurse wiped that stuff off after a few minutes before the reaction could get any more serious. 

As an alternative, birds are out.  I'm apparently allergic to feathers also.  So much for my favorite blanket stuffed with down.  It's my favorite snuggly!  I guess I'm looking for a new favorite blanket now.

Also allergic to cottonwood trees (not a big surprise there), mountain cedar, and oak.

I think I've always known I'm allergic to weeding ;)  At least I seem to be allergic to most weeds they tested.

The foods they tested that seemed to be at least borderline reactive are wheat and soy.  

While the dairy-free eating has been helping my stomach hurt less, cow milk didn't show up as an allergen for me.  I will still be dairy free for the next month (as well as wheat free).  I'm guessing I'll take out soy after that.

Flat Stanley Visits China, pt. 1

My brother is currently visiting China on business. Fortuitously he was leaving just as Kate's "Flat Stanley" unit was starting in school. We got to send Flat Stanley on an airplane all the way to China. Last night I got an email from Dave with a picture and the latest on Stanley's exploits. It's just too good to not share :)



Kate, Janelle -
Flat Stanley went to the Great Wall on Saturday! He had a great time! The wall is very steep, and there are always a lot of people there. They stared at Flat Stanley while he was having his picture taken.

There are many people who sell postcards on the Great Wall, and one of them saw us taking Flat  Stanley's picture. He thought that if he could catch Flat Stanley, he could sell him to a tourist as a  special postcard. He was very sneaky, and waited until Flat Stanley was posing for a picture.  Suddenly he jumped out and tried to grab Flat Stanley! Fortunately the wind was very strong, so Flat Stanley turned sideways and a strong gust of wind lifted him to the highest guard tower. The postcard seller could not climb the uneven stairs very quickly, so Flat Stanley had a little time to plan his escape. There was a woman in the high guard tower who sold Sprite, and Flat Stanley remembered that his  brother once made him round by using a bicycle pump. He quickly bought a bottle of Sprite, put his lips on the bottle, and shook the bottle. The fizz in the bottle made enough pressure to turn him round  again! Since he was no longer flat, the postcard seller didn't even recognize him, so Flat Stanley  walked right past him. He's happy being round, but he can't mail himself back home that way. We think he will find something in Beijing that can turn him flat again. Maybe the stone lions in Tian'An Men square can help.

David

Picture Catch-Up

The other day there was a huge storm.  After a long gray day the sun broke through just before the sun set and I had to grab the camera.  It was the most beautiful part of that day!







Proof of the snowstorm.  I'm SO ready for spring!!!



A few days ago we took the kids to Pirate Island (thanks to Chase Credit Reward Points we could do it for no charge!!!).  It's a full-service restaurant (good food!) and has an arcade, gift shop, amazing decor, and all that jazz.  It was a wonderful break for us all. 



My favorite picture!  It's a little blurry because I grabbed the camera really fast in order to catch the moment.



















A beautiful moment I never want to lose


Sabrina was curled up on the couch watching a show with Daddy.  I was sitting in my chair by the couch so I reached out near her.  She wrapped her little hand around my finger and held on tight.  When I tried to let go several minutes later she grabbed on with her other hand too.  One of the joys of little ones.

No Peeking, Mom.

I'm counting on the fact that my mom usually only reads my blog when I tell her there's something fun on here.  At the very least, she should be too busy until after tomorrow night.  But I'm not going to wait to show these pictures!  I just made a "corsage" pin for my mom for her birthday which is tomorrow.  I think it turned out really pretty, and I'm hoping she likes it.  The center has swarovzki crystals (in light pink and clear) and freshwater pearls.  They are inserted on end-pins so they have a little free-movement.  The "petals" are of carefully heated organza.  Okay, some of the petals have a bit of "wilt" but my lighter ran out of juice so I couldn't re-do it again. 

This last picture is the bane of my existence today.  I'm ready for Spring!!!  But today which started so beautiful has ended up a few inches deep in snow after all :(  I do like the way this picture came out at least. 

"Cheesy" Ham and Potato Soup, Chocolate Chip Cookies

Last night I made a family favorite, Cheesy Ham and Potato Soup.  It turned out great!  With no dairy, of course.

"Cheesy" Ham and Potato Soup

about 8 peeled and cubed potatoes

1 onion, cut as small as your family requires

2 cups cubed ham 

Dump all the chunky stuff in a large pan.

I had most of a can of chicken broth in the fridge left over from some delish fried rice I made earlier in the week, so I started by dumping that over.  Then in the blender, combine about 2 cups cold water and 1/4 c. white bean flour (I made my own by running cheap white dried beans through my wheat grinder on its finest setting).  Buzz the mixture up so there will be no lumps.  Pour into the pan and begin to heat.  Put another 2 - 4 cups water in the blender and add 1 tsp. xanthan gum (can be found at the health food store) and buzz it up again.  Pour into the pot.  I also have some coconut milk creamer on hand (from Sunflower Market).  It is quite rich but not particularly coconutty.  I poured in about 1/2 cup.  (Note: NOT regular coconut milk, this was in the dairy section and is intended to be a non-soy, non-dairy creamer).  Let boil gently or simmer until the potatoes are tender.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Ladle out a cup or two of soup (chunks and all) and dump it back into the handy blender.  Buzz it until it's smooth.  Pour back to the soup pot.  Mine still seemed a little thin at this point so I let it simmer down for about 15 minutes.  When I served this up I grated a little "cheap cow cheese" for everyone else and sprinkled it over their servings.  For me I sprinkled on a little rice cheese.  Green onions or bacon crumbles would be tasty on top too.  Very satisfying!

(This picture is of my bowl.  I only had mozzarella type rice cheese so that's the gooey white strings you can see. YUM!  And yes, I used one of my girls' plastic IKEA spoons to eat dinner.  What can I say?  I need to find where the rest of my cutlery is lost and do some dishes :P )

Chocolate Chip Cookies

I "needed" a little sugary "pick-me-up" last night.  I was really depressed because my esophageal symptoms are not getting better yet.  In fact right now they're pretty horribly flared up.  I took my pills very carefully last night, one at a time with LOTS of water.  And after 20 minutes I could still feel obstructions.  So I made chocolate chip cookies.  Obviously ;)

The recipe I used calls for using all butter.  Some recipes use butter, some use shortening, some use a combination.  Butter in cookies tends to spread more, shortening tends to mound more, and a combination gives a middle ground.  Differences in dry ingredients makes a difference in whether it really needs extra spreading power, mounding power, etc.  Basically, it's not a great idea to substitute butter and shortening out willy-nilly in baking.

Since I didn't want to use 1 cup of my costly Earth Balance spread, I used 1/2 cup of shortening and 1/2 c. coconut oil.  Coconut oil got a really bad rep many years ago because it is all saturated fat.  However, coconut oil has shorter something or others so it does something less evil and isn't supposed to be as bad as all that.  Sorry, you can do your own research, LOL, I don't feel like looking it all up again right now to get the jargon right.  I've read the health fanatics view of it, the scientist's view of it, and some in-between views and decided that it wouldn't be an evil sub for butter in things.  However, it can be VERY expensive too!  I happened to find some on an awesome sale (nearly 1/2 off!) so I got some to try.

I used at least half oat flour in these cookies instead of all white flour.  Again, my oat flour was made by running cheap oats through my wheat grinder on the finest setting.  I know in a couple of weeks when wheat goes I'll have to modify that too, but I was only willing to make so many concessions last night ;)

Most chocolate chips have diary in them.  However, at my local health food store they do carry specialty chocolate chips in their bulk section.  (They have them pre-packaged too, for more money of course).  They're "naturally sweetened" dark chocolate.  The ingredients are simple and don't contain any dairy at all.  They do have a very dark chocolate flavor which just makes them that much better in my opinion :D   I also tossed in some chopped pecans.  The cookies turned out great.  I put most of them in bags in the freezer.  I discovered last summer that throwing cookies in freezer bags in the freezer is an ideal way to keep them.  If I want it warm I can put it in the microwave for a few seconds, or I can just leave it out a bit to thaw, or even eat it frozen!  It makes it easier to eat only one or two cookies instead of being "obligated" to eat two dozen before they go stale.

One dietary issue I'm currently researching is sugar.  I know normal sugar can cause a lot of issue (besides just tubb-esity) so I'm looking into reasonable alternatives for when I'm not willing to concede sweetness.  I'm sorry, but I'm not going to completely give up cookies, cakes, brownies, chewy spree, sour patch kids... you get the idea ;)  So I'm looking at ways to improve what I love so it does less damage to my body when I do eat it.   I have a couple of items on my list of "experimental foods" for when I get another few dollars to try something out.  I'm sure I'll let you know how it goes: good, bad, or ugly :D

Farewell to February

February was much better than January.  There is certainly still room for improvement, though!  The big deal of February was removing dairy from my diet.  The further I get into this challenge the easier it is becoming.  Every now and then something seems particularly difficult (Girl Scout Cookies?!?!?!), but it has still been a good change for me, I think. 

Here are some silly pictures of my Lizzie and Sabrina (since Kate got a whole post recently ;))

I'm hoping February will give me a leg-up to an even better March.  But maybe 2010 won't be a complete waste ;)