One Year

So much can change in a year!  This is what I was doing a year ago.  Nasty surgery.  Fourth surgery within 7 months.  Strangest combination of calmness and terror ever.  I decided in January that I would keep track of my healthy days to help me realize how much healthier and pain free my days are than I imagine them.  Alas, it was a good idea which backfired.  My body doesn't do pain-free.  Most days are mostly decent.  That's good enough I suppose.  I've had it bad enough long enough that I can be grateful for manageable pain levels and understandable medical issues.

In the last 12 months since the major surgery I've only had one anesthetized procedure (an upper digestive scope) and just a few visits to the ER (post-op issues, severe upper digestive pain still not diagnosed).  For me this is a good record!  I have had the physical strength and energy to do what I needed to be able to do this last year (what with the move and all that).  I'm finally starting to lose some of this stubborn weight.  If I could get some of my meds balanced out again I may even have the motivation to get other things (like dishes and laundry) accomplished!

One thing that made life easier through the medical issues is that my husband and daughters were quite healthy.  This year was less cool that way.  I would rather have had another hospital stay than have Lizzie in the hospital for a day with pneumonia.  I decided a few years ago that I'd be fine with continuing to take the brunt of the medical misfortune as long as it meant the others were healthy.  I wish that was something I could get an assurance on.  Unfortunately I've had to learn to be the one who wants to fix something but cannot.  I hate feeling helpless though.  Especially to my children.

One year without surgeries.  Let's see if we can make it two!