Silly Baby -- 2003 edition

I love those quirky pictures of babies :)  So I decided to post a few "Silly Baby" posts of those best pictures I've got.  These are all of Baby Kate between ages approx 6 months to 18 months.

Baby Baseball!

Michael made this baseball bat for Kate on the lathe at my brother's house on New Year's Eve.  It was a long time favorite chew toy :)

 Daddy, that computer is boooooring.  I like the lamp!

In case you can't read the shirt, it says "Hershey's: I'm Drooling".  Total shirt win!

The sleep mask says "Do Not Disturb".  "I wanna sleep like DADDY!!!"  (She isn't actually sleeping during this picture, she was just pretending.  Michael wore the sleep mask since he was working graveyards and had to sleep during the day.

"Clipping Coupons is such a drag!"

"What?!  This isn't a TOOTH brush?!  You gotta be kidding me!"

 "What use is a phone book if I can't READ?!"

"How come nobody says what to do if the shoe *doesn't* fit?!"

"DOGPILE!!!"  Oopsie

"Where's the VISA?"

Don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks.  That big brown spot on her tushie is actually hot chocolate she spilled, then sat in.

"M&Ms!  SCORE!!!"

You gotta love the hair.  No product added.  That's just the way it grew.  It's Aunt Jenny's little Q-Tip :)

"mmmmm.... Root Beer!"

Mini Bath for a Maxi Blowout

Best Piano Teacher ever!  (The dog, that is ;))

Better than "Fat man in a little jacket"

Mommy walked away and left a HOT TUB behind!

"This doesn't look right"

This is the half-size patterning project I made for a class in college.  No, it didn't fit Kate.

Ahhhhh, the magic of chocolate!

I know it was a tiny kitchen, but seriously?!  I didn't make her sit on the microwave cart to eat.  Often ;)

Ingenuity Win.  Make your own stairs!

Room entry Fail.  Just a little more to your left, dear.

Perhaps she needs a "this way up" arrow on her tummy.

Bedtime Fail.  At least she went to sleep eventually.

For a baby who never slept it sure did manage to catch up to her!

Recovery

I'm finally starting to feel better.  I only took 2 percocet today (good thing -- I only have 3 left!).  I'm exhausted and think I could sleep all day but the pain is easing. 

The other evening the girls got to hang out with the neighbors while they had a little campfire in their yard.  I had just enough energy to wander all the way to their backyard and "visited" for a little bit.  It was my big adventure out of the house :) 

This afternoon Kate's Flat Stanley made it back to her school.  Sometime soon I'll post the other stories about Flat Stanley in China.  They're great fun.  Carol and Anne (our friend from Beijing) brought Flat Stanley to the class.  Carol read the stories to the class and showed the pictures of Flat Stanley in lots of great places.  Then Anne answered some questions about living in China.  She spoke some Chinese for them to hear and wrote some characters on the board.  They got to see on the map where the Great Wall is.  After school Kate told me that after that everyone wanted to sit by her.  lol

Life is good.  Better at least.  My voice / throat still gets worn out and tired easily.  I still get worn out and tired easily.  But I can eat most foods now which is a relief.  My tummy still doesn't feel very good so I don't eat much food, but I could which is nice.  For the time being I've lost 10 lbs.  I wouldn't mind if it stayed lost.

A word to the less than wise. Anyone wise wouldn't have these words to share.

I have discovered that the more upfront and honest I am about what's up in life, the easier it tends to be to deal with it.  I'm sorry if that means that there's a lot of junk I write about that you just really don't want to hear.  Feel free to skip reading it.  It just helps me work through it all.
Thanks to genetics, hormones, physical issues, etc, I am one of the more than 21 million Americans that deals with severe chemical depression and anxiety.  I have been medicated in some form since it because a serious issue about 6 years ago.  Currently I'm working with a doctor to try to improve my general health so over the next year or so I may be able to reduce my medications and handle things as much as possible in other ways.
Here's a little Depression 101:  Any surgical procedure of any sort (even as little as a knee scope) can set off a round of depression.  Chronic pain and/or illness can set off a round of depression.  High levels of stress (emotional, physical, financial...) can set off a round of depression.  Also an obvious key to keeping depression at bay: stay on all medications and only go off them gradually and under close supervision.
Now let's consider my last week... I had surgery which has resulted in severe pain for the last 10 days so far (okay, so technically that's more like a week and a half).  Stress and chronic illness are also hallmarks of life for me.  Oh, pain pills can add to depression also, and I discovered a time or two the absolute idiocy of trying to skip those early on.  Immediately after having the tonsillectomy I experienced severe throat pain (not really a surprise ;)).  Swallowing *anything* was severely painful.  I was diligent in drinking ice water.  It hurt to swallow but felt good going past.  I managed to take my pain pills because I knew that while they hurt like ^*&$# to get down they were key to living through the next 4 hours.  Swallowing an extra 4-8 pills per day, though.... 
Yes, I quit taking my pills.  I knew I wouldn't be alone during that time and I didn't have the energy to do anything naughty anyway, so I went ahead and didn't take them.  After about 4 days I started taking my reflux medication again because the pain in my stomach outweighed the pain of swallowing the pill.  And I still skipped the other 3 pills.  I promised myself that no matter what I would start taking them all again this last Friday -- 1 week after the surgery.  It seems like starting back on the meds after being off for a week was as bad as being off them was!  I was finally recovering a little energy and it all turned very grumpy.  Then the "nightmares" started.
Nightmare is the wrong word.  That insinuates that it happens while sleeping and that something actually *happens*.  This was creepier.  Saturday night I was lying in bed waiting for the pain pill to take the edge off enough that I could sleep.  >sidetrack<  Have you ever had that experience of seeing or feeling or hearing something that you're so sure is right there until you open you eyes and realize you must have been more asleep than you thought?  That's kind of what was happening.  I would shut my eyes and could see us both lying in bed and then things started to appear around us.  Bottles of pills, sharp knives, rope, plastic bags... things that in and of themselves could be quite innocuous, but considering everything they were downright frightening.  I pulled my eyes opened and could see that I was just in bed. Nothing weird.  But the second I shut them again it kept happening.  I didn't feel a great desire to *use* any of these things, but they were there.  It was nearly petrifying. 
I decided I needed to focus my mind on something positive, cause neutral territory was apparently no good.  I was drowsily thinking through various pictures of me with my husband and with out little family.  Beautiful, you'd think.  Except pretty soon that changed too.  I would "see" a picture, then a mask of gore would cover me in the image.  As I startled I'd "flip" to another picture and the same thing happened.  Seeing your own face covered in blood while smiling up from the midst of loved ones is quite uncomfortable. 
By this point it was exceedingly late (or early, depending on your perspective).  I woke Michael up and tried to tell him what happened, though it wasn't until the next morning I actually made sense.  After he tried comforting me I sat straight up at the end of the bed and refused to shut my eyes again. 
After giving me one of my anxiety pills (the kind I take rarely) Michael finally convinced me to get back in bed.  As usual, once the pill knocked me out I slept so soundly I didn't remember any dreams.  The next day I barely passed out of Michael's view.  Feeling that subconcious onslaught was so utterly overwhelming. If I had it all to do again (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I would open up my cymbalta capsules and sprinkle it in my pudding before I'd skip it entirely again.
So my words to the less-than-wise are these: First: don't skip the medication.  Second: if you have some compelling reason to skip it, keep company around.  Third: just because you're back on your meds doesn't mean you're out of the woods yet!  I had been back on for two days before this crazy muck happened.

I think I"m finally on the upswing of the recovery.  It is a very SLOW upswing, but things are improving.  I think at least most of the scabbing is gone now.  I feel less like I'm choking and my saliva isn't so gummy.  Gross I know, but it's all gross.  It is still very uncomfortable to do much talking.  Eating is still tricky and painful also.  I'm hoping as the swelling continues to go down that food will quit getting stuck in the surgical site too.  It would be so refreshingly unexpected to swallow and have food just go from mouth to esophagus without getting sidetracked! The referred ear pain is pretty well calmed down now too.  I think I was at an advantage versus the ear pain.  I've had so much severe ear pain and I knew it would come sooner or later, so it didn't catch me like some unexpected undertow.  I was better able to stand it because I know every bit of how it feels and how bad it can get.  It was bad enough, but not so bad as my infection in January.  I'm still absolutely wiped out, but I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm not walking on railroad tracks this time ;)

Chill, Dorothy, it was just a dream.

The Jarbh family was involved in a New Year's Celebration at BYU.  We were parading through and plaing music but were also honored guests.  We kept being introduced when we entered new rooms.  I was actually in charge of taking pictures (shocking, no?) but my camera was running out of batteries and film.  Film?!  Yup.  I had to flip the switch over to digital cause I ran out of film.  Carol was looking for more batteries for me.  BYU happened to be located in Arkansas, just down the road from where Kimball and Lorilee live.  And Peter had been hired to be in charge of heating in the HFAC where all the festivities would be held.  He was still with the rest of us, but he was responsible for everything else at the same time.  A number of the kids were playing with us but they were quite young.  Andrew, for example, was playing the trombone.  They were roughly the same size.  Grandpa Brunson and a number of Brunson relations were there as well.  As we entered the main gallery of the HFAC Uncle Gordon was the one introducing us.  Grandpa handed each family half a banana and Uncle Gordon gave each family a one dollar bill and said who was coming.  There were bananas alllll over the floor where people kept dropping them.  Uncle Gordon kept giving last names as "Brunson" instead of "Jensen" or otherwise.  When Michael and I came through he introduced us as "Brother Michael Brunson and Miss April Iphapes"

At that point I woke myself up by trying to yell "It's SOUTHERN!  And Janelle Southern!" and then being shocked that my Uncle (once you de-spoonerized the word) was calling me Ape-Hips!  Oh well, it was time to get up anyway.

This ^ is the approximate size of the Jarbh kids who were at the par-tay.

Days 3 and 4. Unfortunately still alive. Ugh.

Fever, nausea, throwing up blood, utter exhaustion... I don't feel so good.

Between the highs and lows of this recovery I still feel hope that I won't regret this in the long term, LOL.  I'm hungry finally, but anything I try to eat gets caught in the surgery site.  I think I've drunk no less than 4 gallons of water each day since the surgery.  Ice water feels reasonably good so I've been living on ice water.  I've eaten two scrambled eggs, two smoothies, a bit of yogurt, and coconut kefir.  And some ice cream.  That's all in 4 days now.  Yes, I've lost 8 pounds.  I'm sure there are easier ways to lose weight.  I'm still mainly avoiding dairy, but since it didn't show up as an allergen and since I'm desperate I've been eating some anyway.  I am entirely avoiding wheat though.  Not that wheat sounds good right now anyway...

Lizzie whacked herself near her right eye the other day with something.  I think it must have been on Friday because I thought I dreamed it.  Now she has a bit of a shiner.  Awesome :P

After she got home from school today Lizzie was doing her reading.  She had Sabrina sit on her lap to read aloud to her.  It was just too cute :)  Then Lizzie filled out the paper for me that says she read the book -- including my "signature".  I'm guessing her teacher will know I didn't sign it ;)  At least the teacher knows I'm out of it this week.

Right now I really want a bowl of beef stew.  Yummmmmm.... 

Days 1 and 2. Still alive.

Honestly I'm doing better in a lot of ways than I thought I'd be.  Surgery went well yesterday.  Not surprisingly they had to max me out on pain meds and anti-nausea meds in the recovery room.  I'm sure I've been talking more than I ought to, but I like to talk :P  As long as I keep up on my pain meds and drink LOTS of ICE water I'm doing pretty well.  A nice novelty is that it's not uncomfortable to move around (like it is after having gallbladder surgery, a c-section, a cyst cut open, etc.).  I'm just quite tired.  I've had alarms set on my phone so I drink water at least every hour day and night.  It really does make a difference.  It just makes restful sleep more difficult :)  Especially since it also means I have to get up frequently to go to the bathroom too, lol.  Yesterday I did eat a Jamba Juice and that was good "food" (non dairy, non soy, no seeds, no citrus.  Yes, they do have one like that!).  I also had some pudding (made with rice milk so it was really runny, but it was still satisfying).  So far today I've had ice and water and water and ice.  And liquid amoxicillin and percocet.  Oh well.  From what I understand hydrating is more important than food these first couple of days at least.  It's not like I don't have a little extra "food storage" on my hips ;) 

Sorry, this picture is pretty dark.  I just took it with the webcam on my mini while I lie here on the couch.  My jawline is all loverly and puffy of course.  Feels awesome (in all the most sarcastic senses).  Right now my mom has the girls and Michael went to run a couple of errands so I'm taking it nice and easy.

A couple of golden moments: (These have been Facebooked for those of you who may have already seen them there.)  I was particularly loopy during my recovery this time.  Unfortunately it was before I had been taken back to Michael so I don't have any corroboration on this and I know there's a lot that went on that I don't remember.  Things just kept coming out of my mouth and then I'd hear myself and wonder what was wrong with me, LOL.  I was quite nauseous so the nurse dude gave me a bag thing in case I needed to throw up.  Instead of the classes emesis basins (which have always concerned me with the thoughts of splashage) it was more of a bag with a hard plastic ring at the top that kept it open.  When he gave it to me I promptly put it on my head and told him it made a great hat.  I think I fell right back to sleep then because when I woke up again feeling another wave of nausea I saw where it had fallen on the floor out of reach.  (Fortunately the meds kicked in and I didn't actually go through the agony of post tonsillectomy throwing up.)
Later in the day as I kept drifting in and out of consciousness I had a dream that was really quite fascinating.  It was a short dream (probably because I was only sleeping in very short increments) and was therefore fittingly a commercial.  The commercial was for a printer with an extra cartridge which printed in invisible ink.  And as a special feature it even worked underwater!  Sorry, I didn't catch the number to call to order it ;)

Now it's nap time again.  Good night :)

Big Breath...and let it out...

On Wednesday I had a very productive appointment with my ENT doctor.  I had the intradermal testing done on some negatives from my allergy testing.  To my previous list of allergies I can now add two types of grass and two more trees: Elm and Olive. 

This was a follow-up appointment for that nasty ear infection I've had all year (meaning the year 2010, not the last 12 months).  My ear finally looks better!  Hallelujah!!!! 

I also went with two questions.  The first was to do with a problem I've had with voice strain for the last several months.  I cannot sing anymore without serious pain and hoarseness afterward :(  The doc did a scope right there (Fiber-optic laringoscopy -- not particularly comfy, but at least it was quick) which showed that I have severe Muscle Tension Dysphonia.  The muscles that run the vocal chords are over-working so my voice is being used wrong.  SO, I have to start seeing a voice therapist to learn how to use my voice right again.  At least it sounds like it will only be about 4 visits, so that's do-able I guess.

My second question was to do with my tonsils.  I've had slightly to moderately inflamed tonsils for years.  In the last few years my tonsils have begun producing tonsiloliths (tonsil stones) which are straight up NASTY.  It's basically (sorry, there's no un-gross way to put this) particles of food caught in the tonsils which get bacteria built up around it to form a wad of white nasty stinky gunk.  They can be quite painful and it's basically a breeding ground for nasties which then randomly drop down the throat (or can sometimes be "popped" out of the tonsils or coughed out) adding a whole new layer of gross to the bacterial climate of the body.  Considering how well my body does NOT do with infections, a couple of doctors have recommended a tonsillectomy. 
My ENT concurred (I swear I saw their eyeballs spin with dollar signs in them, lol) and they proceded to schedule my surgery.  The doctor I see (Seth Riddle -- same ENT who removed Kate's tonsils several years ago) does surgeries once a month.  So I could either wait several weeks or have the surgery on Friday.  (Yes, this appointment was yesterday and the surgery is tomorrow!).  I'm actually happy with this because it gives me less time to stress out about it.

So tomorrow morning I'm going under the knife again.  The more I talk to people and research about adult tonsil/adenoid-ectomies the more I'm dreading the next couple of weeks.  Kate's recovery was so quick and she bounced back so much faster than we expected... and mine will probably be SO much worse.  Ugh.

Enough gross stuff.  Here's something GOOD!  (Woo Hoo!!!)

I started seeing another doctor a while ago.  He came highly recommended and is in addition to all my other doctors (cause I just don't have enough doctors, right?).  I admit I call this guy the "voodoo doctor"  or "Doctor Facilier" (seen 'The Princess and the Frog'?).  He's actually an alternative health provider who mainly uses homeopathic supplements and treatments for issues.  He did an assessment of my body (Chinese Meridian Assessment) which actually came up with nothing particularly shocking.  My kidneys and liver are weak, my lymph-nodes aren't draining properly, I have chronic infection / inflammation in the upper respiratory area (see also: tonsils!), etc.  He started me on a pill and two different drops.  I figured nothing much would happen, but all of a sudden this week (it has been a couple of weeks now) the swelling along my jaw line has gone down!  I also finally lost two pounds.  Not much, I know, but finally SOMETHING.  Basically my body isn't getting rid of the garbage.  So even when I go on antibiotics to kill off something all the dead bugs are left floating around because my lymph-nodes, liver, and kidneys are too lazy to clear it all out.  Thus the infections are persistent and recurrent.  I'm feeling hopeful that this doc will get some of my body working well enough that it can self-correct on some of these things that are running my health SO out of whack.

It may be a while before I"m back.  We'll see how my recovery goes.  Fingers crossed and especially arms crossed (praying).